dimsumlosesome


Category Archive

The following is a list of all entries from the parenting category.

…high school can suck big time…

…high school can suck and kids are so f#%^ing cruel…what is amazing and so very cool about this story is how this young woman responded to be being voted one of the ugliest girls at her school via an online poll.

…in her Facebook response she writes,

“I know I’m not the prettiest thing to look at.
(But) if that’s your idea of ugly then I feel sorry for you.”

I’m sorry that you get amusement out of making people feel like s–t.

I’m sorry that you’ll never get the chance to know the kind of person I am.

I may not look okay on the outside.
But I’m funny, nice, kind, down to earth, not judgemental, accepting, helpful, and I’m super easy to talk to.”

…having been bullied in high school and being told by my peers (and the immature guys) in high school that I am ugly, it feels like the end of the world…

but you know what? I’m so over what others think of my appearance or whether they think I’m pretty because I’m comfortable with me and who I am…I’m not looking to conform to someone else’s standard of beauty, I’m just looking to be me…and as such, I have always taught my kiddo, “never judge a book by its cover because today’s ugly duckling could easily grow up to be tomorrow’s beautiful swan…”

and through some weird cosmic fate, years ago, my son ended up at a party being hosted by a boy I went to high school with who felt I was ugly…the story was significant enough that I had shared it with my son and he has always remembered the story…because after the party,he couldn’t wait to get home to tell me, “mom, that boy who was mean to you and felt you were ugly did not age well at all (translate: fat and bald)…and as much as I hate that people (he means guys) look at you, you definitely aged better than he did!”…out of the mouth of babes!

Advertisements

My 18 year old…my how time flies!

My son is far from perfect and together we will have moments where I will question my own sanity as I wonder what planet he came from and why it seems that his brain is forever in his butt…it is during those trying and tumultuous times that I yearn for those early years with my kiddo because life just seemed so much simpler back then when our biggest concern was “which park are we going to play at today?”

I used to wonder when he was little if he listened to anything I ever said to him or heeded any life lesson I’ve ever tried to teach and instill in him…It is *now* in those unexpected, unplanned and unguarded moments when in the conversations we share that I learn all of the struggle, the arguments and the sacrifices have not been in vain…that in some ways, despite all the odds, I somehow managed to raise one of the good guys (ALL BY MYSELF), giving me infinite hope for the future…his experiences combined with the craziness that has been our life together has impacted and shaped who he is now as an adult and how he sees the world.

I am blessed and proud of the “adult” my son has grown into and to finally be able to “reap” the rewards of sacrifice I made for all those years and if I never accomplish anything else in this world, just knowing that I that made my son a way better me than I can ever hope to be is all I need to be happy.


racism isn’t just an “african american” affliction…

…hard to believe that in the melting pot that is the city, this kind of shit is happening in this day and age…it was attitudes like this and how people felt chinese people were the “yellow peril” that paved the way for the Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882…

The Chinese Exclusion Act was the first law implemented to prevent a specific ethnic group – Chinese people – from immigrating to the United States. It was finally repealed by the Magnuson Act on December 17, 1943.

…like my son says, “Racism and hate are learned behaviors and it needs to stop because ‪#‎AllLivesMatter‬”

http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/Anti-Chinese-graffiti-spray-painted-in-S-F-6489462.php?cmpid=fb-desktop


…oh, the tables have turned…

…watching parents play “red light, green light” with their kids and seeing the look of joy, excitement and glee on the little kids’ faces sure brought back some very fond memories of a time not so long ago when I used to play that game with my B when he was little…as amused and nostalgic as it made me, my B was not sharing the same sentiment…perhaps because the kids kept running into him as he is attempting to walk down the street…much like he used to do to unsuspecting pedestrians who crossed his path while he played…#Karma…it’s a bitch isn’t it? lol


another #ProudMom moment…

#ProudMom…every so often as a parent, especially a parent of a teenager/young adult, you have one of those, “oh wow” moments…and i just had one…

many times, of all the life lessons you try to instill in your child their entire lives as they are growing up, you wonder, “is he even listening to what I’m trying to teach him or is it just noise and to him, it’s all just blah, blah, blah?”  for homework last night, my son had to write an essay for english class in which he had to pick several “power words” used in his learning community that best describes him…

now, if you know my son, you also know he HATES to write essays, preferring to tell you the story instead…perhaps it’s a maturity in him that i don’t always notice in the chaos that is our life and to me, he’s always going to be my “baby” while old habits die hard along with established patterns.

i was already asleep by the time he finished his paper and when i got to work this morning, i saw that he had emailed me a copy of his essay and i was struck by what i read…the kid can write when he puts his mind to it that’s for sure!  one of the power words my son used to describe himself is “question”…i know, i thought that was weird at first too…until he went on to explain why…

he writes, “Question represents me a lot because whenever I don’t understand something or if a situation doesn’t seem right, I will question it until I do understand it.  I have grown up not taking things for face value.  Things aren’t always what they appear to be and life isn’t about believing everything you see and everything you read or hear.  The world we live in isn’t always black or white because in between there are many shades of gray.  Also, when I see things that aren’t right and no one else is doing anything about it to change it, I will take the initiative to make it right.  For instance if I saw that a person were being picked on by another person or was not being treated right, I will step in and fix the situation especially if no one else will.  Question leads to action and action eventually leads to change…”

…wow…


…something to ponder…

…something to ponder…deadbeat dads who never pay a cent in arrears in child support can easily get their suspended drivers licenses back with a minimal “effort” to pay toward back child support owed…I know from experience that one time years and years ago, all it took was a payment of 37cents…yes, I got a child support check for 37cents…the postage it cost to mail that ridiculous check was more than the check I received!

what is tragic and a sign that something is wrong with our justice system is that “most states also suspend licenses for failure to pay traffic fines, another policy that critics say creates a quicksand of debt. The American Association of Motor Vehicle Administrators has complained that suspensions should be reserved for dangerous drivers, not indebted ones.

For many families, a driver’s license suspension is the beginning of a descent into abject poverty for which there is no escape…”

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/15/us/with-drivers-license-suspensions-a-cycle-of-debt.html?_r=0


#AllLivesMatter

…sometimes, okay, many times as a mom, I *always* wonder if I’ve done a “good enough” job raising my son, especially on my own….you know, have I taught him right from wrong or just to be a good, productive, respectable and accountable member in our society…this afternoon while en route to meet me at work, he saw some people yelling and belittling a homeless person…hearing this, something told him he needed to put a stop to it and they looked at him like he was crazy especially when he told them that they should just leave the guy alone…the people stopped in their tracks at my son’s statement…as he recounted the story to me later on, he said, “homeless or not, that person being yelled at and belittled is still a person and regardless of their situation or place in life, all lives matters” and that was exactly what he told those people.


…extended summer vacation? NOPE!…

…because somehow, someone at the school district believed that my son is so very ninja and stealthy like as he managed to be a student at a school for the past 3 years without having an inter-district transfer in place at his current school, allowing him to attend the school in the first place, we are attempting to register him for school AGAIN today…I am so not hopeful.

,,,my kiddo who has always seen life as “the glass is half full” (and wonders who drank the other half) saw a “silver lining” in the whole fiasco and enthusiastically asked, “since I’m not enrolled at school in San Lorenzo or San Leandro, does that mean I don’t have to go to school after all and I get an extended summer vacation?”…that would be a BIG negative but yeah, nice try buddy…even the principal found humor in my kiddo’s response.


…felt like the swim season just began..

it felt like yesterday the summer swim season was just beginning and who knew what laid in store for us.  we knew going in that my B wasn’t a sprinter but that’s never been his focus, to have to place at his various events…his goal has always been to drop time and if he places, that’s an added bonus.  he swims for the love of the water and to be around his team…and it was icing on the cake that this was by far my B’s best swim season EVER!…to a lot of people, coming in 10th may not be a big deal but for us, this was huge!…my B said ago that since he seeded 10th for the 50 Breast, his goal for champs was to either place 10th or better in that event…well, the results were just posted and not only did he drop time but he maintained the 10th place spot (plus earning points for his team)…ALSO, in his last event for #EBSLChamps2015, he dropped 2 seconds off his 100 IM…and with that, our summer swim season is officially over. #WayToGoKiddo #ProudMom #GoSharkbaitGo


…saving the best for last…

…saving the best for last…out of all of his friends/classmates who are graduating this year, I believe my B will be one of the last to take his senior pics…that’s totally fine by me as it gives me more time to still process all of this and let it sink in…that I raised another human being, my kiddo…all by myself…it hasn’t always been easy but I’m very proud of the young man that my B has grown into and despite outward challenges he has had to face, he goes thru life with a smile on his face…if nothing else, I definitely raised a better me than I can ever hope to be because no matter what life throws at him, rather than wallow in negativity, he sees the positive in *every* situation…this is the kid who always sees the world as “the glass as half full” and wonders who drank the other half!

…in the meantime however, I’m loving the fact that his friends are posting their senior pics…and man, these kids clean up so nicely!